When God Created Mothers

by Erma Bombeck

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When God was creating mothers, He was into his sixth day of “overtime” when an angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” And the Lord said, “Have you read the specs on this order?

• She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
• Have 180 movable parts... all replaceable;
• Run on black coffee and leftovers;
• Have a lap that disappears when she stands up;
• A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair;
• And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands... no way.” “It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.” “That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.

The Lord said, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get the twins to take a bath.” The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed. “But she’s tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure.” “Can it think?” “Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.  

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You You were trying to push too much into this model.” “It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.” “What’s it for?” “It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.” “You are a genius,” said the angel. The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there,” He said.

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Joy & Pain

Joy is a jewel, a sparkly slice of life that smears smiles on people's faces. Joy warms the heart and nourishes the soul, it tugs on your heartstrings, can make you cry and laugh, giggle and feel good all over. Pain is raw and strikes indiscriminantly at the young and old, boys and girls, men and women of all ages, it can leave as quickly as it appears or linger and loiter in the body and mind oblivious to it's unwanted presence. Joy and Pain are opposites felt, seen and heard in obvious manner, sometimes invisible as it moves about with reckless abandon.

Pain bites hard, it punctures, the sting is sharp, also quick to come and go without warning, unannounced like an obnoxious uninvited guest. Emotional or mental pain can be silent or exude deafening screams as it runs rampant and out of control. Each hot tear begs for relief from the intruding tangles, tears, breaks, burns, blocks, ruptures.You scramble for ways to rid yourself of any pain or anguish.

The joy of seeing a child happy and healthy after surviving a life threatening illness, a therapist helping someone breakthrough a former limitation, someone being appreciated for their help, good news about long awaited test results or completing a job well done while improving the quality of someones life in the process. Joy is an elixar of life!

At the end of the day it is comfort, peace, big and little, subtle and spectacular things and moments that bring you joy, outweighs the pain and make life more livable, happier and healthy.